ASMR and How Water Whispers Ilse Cured my Insomnia

My name is Natalie, and I am an insomniac. I remember, even when I was in my early 20's, I would spend all night, wide awake and afraid, and only with the first rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon, just barely brightening up the dark night sky, would I feel it was safe for me to finally close my eyes and drift off to sleep. And what a profound slumber it was, all 90 minutes of it before my alarm went off and jarred me into a shaky, groggy-minded and usually nauseous reality that was about to be my day.

I grew up in the time of "Helter Skelter" and the "Night Stalker," among other frights, so my vigilant instincts had other ideas of what I should be doing besides laying in a helpless and semi-conscious state so someone could hurt me. That just wasn't going to happen! No sirree Bob! Not on my watch! I was gonna stay awake so I could fight them off, or more realistically, watch the whole thing go down. Yeah! Super fun!

I read a short story by Earnest Hemingway during my first pass through college called, "A Clean, Well-lighted Place" about an old alcoholic that would go to a bright cafe to drink, and the older waiter that served him. It always struck me as being incredibly perceptive as to the plight of the insomniac.

"The light is very good ... A clean, well-lighted cafe was a very different thing. Now, without thinking further, he would go home to his room. He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it's probably only insomnia. Many must have it."

During my bouts of insomnia, I would feel so alone,  like I was the only person who was awake in the world, (even though I knew it was daytime in China). After reading this story, I always fantasized, if there was just a clean, well-lighted place that I could go to, everything would be okay.

Well, everything IS okay, because I found the Water Whisperer Ilse! I have been sleeping through the night for the first time in I don't know how long and it's all because of videos like this one:

(Warning: Do not operate heavy machinery, a moving automobile or 

leave your hamster in his exercise ball while watching this video.)

This is another one of these things that I'm just learning about, so let me tell you what I have read. ASMR, which stands for "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response", (or Age-specific Mortality Rate for all you actuarial fans out there), is defined as:

 A neologism for a perceptual phenomenon characterized as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back, or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli.

 Like a lot of alternative remedies, mainstream medicine is divided on ASMR's effectiveness because of lack of scientific evidence and difficulty in obtaining said evidence.  Some psychiatrists worry that it may become habit-forming, like a pacifier or white noise machine, and would much prefer you take Ambien and wake up to an open refrigerator and a stomach full of raw bacon.  Others feel it is a safe and effective practice akin to meditation. All I know is that I turn on Ilse and I cannot keep my eyes open, and the next thing I know, it's morning! Is she boring? Maybe. (And isn't that kind of the idea? I mean, how sleepy would you get if she ran around like the Keystone Cops, yelling at you to relax?) Do I care? Nope.  All I care about is, that after 30 years of having trouble sleeping, I have found a cure. Thank you Ilse. And, sweet dreams, my friends!